Zain
A heavy storm interrupts the daily hassle as I see people running around like a gush of wind. Sometimes, I wonder if people fear the rain. If they fear the act of new beginnings. It takes huge amount of courage to accept and adapt to change. Some people rather ignore it while others gaze at droplets with longing, hoping they had the determination to embrace it. For once in my life, I decide to act on my rebellious streak and rush out, shivering. The thunder strikes, alerting me that the world is watching. I look around and see a half trunk tree, leaves and plastic bags everywhere. However there is some amount of striking beauty in this heavy destruction. Something that forces me to see beneath the dust and the layers. After all this was exactly what he taught me. Zain never looked at the superficial covers. He was different. Sometimes exasperating, with his over whelming presence and his over burdening questions but always there. Then he just left. No one knows where or how. Maybe for the better because he was just like the clouds, floating on the surface with a blast of anger hidden inside but covered by a peaceful face. He was always the leader amongst both of us whereas I was quite submissive. Nevertheless, we were a team, at least in my head. Once, we were on a road trip with our family. In the morning we both snuck out for a hike in the vast mountains. While walking, I looked at his eyes and saw a caged soul threatening to resurface. It was like he was hanging on his lifeline in the middle. Then he stopped and just froze. Zain looked at the valley beneath us and I finally questioned him. He told me he didn’t know what he was seeking for but just hoped whatever it was sought him back. My brother didn’t believe in truths, he just believed in writing his destiny and searching for his version of the truth. That moment I realised, I had lost him to himself. He looked as helpless as a shadow, just hiding behind the version of himself he pretended to be in front of others but never was. The next morning I woke up and he was gone. Just like that. With no traces left behind and just a small note tucked into my favourite jacket. He told me to stop, take a step back and ask myself if I were caged behind a wall without a hint of rays, would I let my mind sway? I didn’t understand what he meant and I still don’t. My parents, of course were devastated. They did everything under their power to search for him. But I knew, my brother was free just like the wind. He could only be found if he wanted to be, which wouldn’t be the case until he found himself. In times like these when it’s raining mercilessly, I feel the wind down till my toes and sometimes I see my brother perhaps just a figment of my imagination but with him I would never know. Everyone thought he was eccentric, a madman but no one understood he was beyond his time and anyway he didn’t need anyone. He was born, not to be understood and to sit on top of the world, alone.
3 min readAug 22, 2020
